Appa passed away on 26th January 2021. He was 79. In the last month of his life, he required frequent hospitalizations and sustained care. Within that period, in his company, I experienced so many emotions. From heart-wrenching episodes to moments of deep bonding that bring true meaning to a lifetime of togetherness to moments of pure joy.

My father was always full on. Never half-assed anything. His engine revved and redlined every day of his life. Be it his moments of joy, giving, and gratitude, or be it his moments of misgivings.

My last month with him, perhaps his parting gift, pulled me into his realm of being full-on. I experienced, perhaps for the first time, what it is to give fully into a moment and stay there. Thank you, Appa.

I remember so many profound moments of him crossing over his own limitations to give into my life. You will always be remembered for being always on, always full on. 

Appa, now you must find your path and give into that fully.

Lovingly your son, Bala.

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